Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. In the context of family law, this may happen in relationships involving spouses, parents, children, or extended family members. Here are some signs to watch for:
- Denial of past events: One of the most common signs of gaslighting is outright denial of past events, even if there is evidence to the contrary. The gaslighter might say things never happened or insist that they happened in a different way.
- Trivializing feelings: The gaslighter may constantly belittle or trivialize the feelings and experiences of others, causing them to doubt their own emotions or perceptions.
- Twisting and reframing: The gaslighter often twists and reframes situations to fit their narrative, causing confusion and self-doubt in others.
- Using love and affection as weapons: The gaslighter may manipulate feelings of love and affection, offering them as rewards for compliance and withdrawing them as punishment for dissent.
- Creating a narrative of incompetence: The gaslighter frequently projects a narrative that the other person is incompetent or unable to manage things on their own. This creates a dependency and makes the person question their own abilities.
- Isolating from friends and family: The gaslighter often isolates the victim from their support network, making it more difficult for the victim to get outside perspectives and increasing their dependency on the gaslighter.
- Accusing the victim of gaslighting: In a tactic known as “projection,” the gaslighter accuses the other person of being the manipulator, causing further confusion and self-doubt.
- Constant lying: The gaslighter will habitually lie, even when there is no need to. This creates a constant state of uncertainty and unease.
- Deflection and blame shifting: When confronted about their actions, the gaslighter will often deflect and shift blame, rarely taking responsibility for their own actions.
- Repeatedly undermining the victim’s reality: Over time, consistent gaslighting can cause a person to lose trust in their own memory and perception, leading them to rely on the gaslighter’s version of events instead.
- Using confusion as a tactic: Gaslighters are adept at introducing new, often untrue or distorted narratives that create further doubt and confusion.
- Manipulating children or other family members: In a family context, gaslighters might use other family members as pawns in their manipulative games, creating further divisions and uncertainty.
These signs may be subtle and accumulate over time, making it difficult for the person being gaslighted to realize what’s happening. If you suspect that you or someone you know is experiencing gaslighting, consider seeking support from mental health professionals or legal counsel
